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True story. I used to be a nude model, and taking my clothes off for a living was the only way I could get a job as a professor.
I graduated with my PhD in the history of religion back in 2019; and to my surprise, nobody wanted to hire me as a professor! I was applying to hundreds of professorships around the country, and I received rejection letters just as quickly I submitted applications.
One day, I saw a liberal arts job posting at a local four-year art college; and I thought to myself, "Oh, they'd be lucky to have a published doctor on their staff!" The funny thing was that there was a second job posting right next to it for nude modeling. So, totally as a practical joke, I applied to take my clothes off in front of complete strangers, as well. Keep in mind, I applied to these two positions with the expectation of being hired fairly quickly as a liberal arts professor, thinking they would just ignore me for the nude modeling gig.
That's not what happened at all.
I couldn't believe it; I was almost immediately rejected for the professor job ...
... but they did want to meet with me to discuss showing off my naked @ss. I thought to myself, "Well, this is a strange direction for my life." But I needed a job, so I agreed to take my clothes off for the art college.
Plus, all of my friends and colleagues in academia kept telling me the same thing over and over: you must figure out a way to get your foot in the door at any college or university. Do whatever it takes; just get your foot in the door. I thought letting young adults draw me naked might do the trick.
I was wrong. Well, initially ...
Side note: I really enjoyed being a nude model. It was probably the best job (working with some of the best human beings) I've ever had! By the way, if you'd like to see me naked, just call this number (888-447-5594) and make an appointment : ) Now back to the story...
So, I was doing the nude modeling thing for a while, and I think I was pretty good at it. But of course, I wanted to network the heck out of this job in the hopes that the art college would hire me to be a liberal arts professor. I did everything I could think of, including waiting hours outside the office of the head of the liberal arts department in hopes that he would meet with me.
Finally, one day he showed up and said, "Are you, Darren? I'm sorry I haven't responded to any of your emails. Come inside and let's talk."
I couldn't believe it. I finally had a meeting with a great man who would listen to my sob story of becoming a professor but having to sell my body instead. Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened at all. The very first thing he said absolutely crushed me. "Darren, I first have to tell you that it would be impossible for me to hire you as a professor at this college."
"Wait, what? How come!?!"
"Because the students have seen you naked!!! Duh! You've effectively barred yourself from ever teaching at this college!"
Just my luck. My one chance at getting a foot in the door, and I ended up shooting myself in the foot, instead. I actually went to the bathroom and cried for a bit before my shift started. I then tucked in my love handles and went to work selling my body to young adults.
Okay, long story short. I kept networking. I befriended my colleagues at the job, impressed them with my ... ... *uh-hum* work habits ; ) ... ... and was eventually able to convince the President of the college to make an exception and to hire me as a professor.
What's the point of the story? If I had to take my clothes off just to be considered for a teaching position, what are other wanna-be professors doing to prostitute themselves!?!
The truth of the matter is that academia has turned into an industry that benefits only the few while greedily exploiting both academics and students. Because profit has become their primary motivation, colleges and universities have become an exclusive club of academic cliques and inner circles, rarely penetrated by the less privileged. This sad fact means that many academics are never given the chance to teach. Both students and human knowledge suffer as a consequence.
At the Global Center for Religious Research, our idea is simple: we want to give academics a major platform to share their knowledge and not be taken advantage of in the process. And we want to make their knowledge affordable and available to the entire globe.
If you have a PhD but haven't had any luck becoming a professor, we might be the answer you're looking for. Click the image below and see what it takes to become an adjunct profess with GCRR.
